Well, it’s finally here, Bravo fans! It’s the moment we’ve all been waiting for: The Real Housewives of New York season 8 reunion show!
As we noted in our previous blog posts, this is going to be a massive reunion show, as it’s been split up into three different parts.
That being said, things kicked off tonight, and Dorinda Medley was the first
victim topic of the night.
Dorinda Medley – The Moist Drug Lord
Dorinda’s boyfriend, John, was the main topic of conversation as the opener, and you can imagine how awkward it must have been for Dorinda.
However, even when John is the topic, and Andy pretends to give a shit about Dorinda, he always finds a way to Segway back to Bethenny, and ruffle those feathers.
It’s just hilarious watching Andy Cohen bobblehead himself back and forth, with a smile on his face, as he clearly knows he’s stirring the pot.
He’s just not happy unless he can make Bethenny Frankel go from resting bitch face, to full on attack mode.
As Andy brought up the topic of John mentioning wanting to do some “rails,” with Bethenny, aka cocaine, he gets exactly what he wants, as the cast implodes.
Everyone says Dorinda is a drug addict, and Sonja Morgan, specifically, tosses her under the bus like it’s no big deal.
Clearly, there’s some underlying information here we’re missing out on, as everyone says just to drop it, and not talk about it anymore.
Ramona Singer – Blatant Floozy
After being seared by Ramona Singer’s crazy eyes for 15 minutes, Andy decided he would open up a convo with her in an epic dose of — nothing.
I mean, you’re talking about a crazy woman’s dating life — what did you expect?
If it tells you anything, the entire cast erupted into a debate on how to pronounce the word “reggae,” which practically all of them struggled with.
Later, things got much more intense as Luann tried to spell Bethenny’s name!
This just proves once again that a three-parter season reunion was totally necessary. 🙄
Sonja Morgan – The Interrupting Cow
What does the interrupting cow say?
It doesn’t even matter, as long as Dorinda doesn’t get to form a complete sentence — no matter what.
Sonja Morgan couldn’t stand the thought of Dorinda not being totally crucified by everyone, so at every chance she got, she stirred the pot whenever possible, and interrupted her every time she tried to voice her opinion.
From everything to talking about John, to talking about some random Ramona fling, Sonja couldn’t sit back and let Dorinda finish a sentence uninterrupted.
Bethenny Frankel V.S. The Countess
Andy couldn’t stand the fact that the reunion didn’t start off with Bethenny breaking one of her SkinnyGirl bottles in half and prison shanking LuAnn.
There were many points in the show when he tried to stir some crap, including when he asked if Bethenny stole LuAnn’s hairstyle, as if you can trademark a haircut.
Still, you can cast your vote in our poll:
Finally Andy got what he was after, when he brought up the whole slut shaming incident, as Bethenny said that LuAnn is a promiscuous lady.
At this point, Andy’s eyes lit up like a kid on Christmas, and the faint line of his erection could be seen through his pants. He’d finally succeeded, and the battle was about to begin.
Carole Radziwill’s lips were promptly placed on Bethenny’s ass, as LuAnn called Bethenny a hypocrite, a slut, and so forth.
Carole would randomly interject, like a kid with Tourette’s syndrome, and defend Bethenny.
It was like watching 6-year-olds arguing at a birthday party.
Even Andy couldn’t take the stench from the all the crap he stirred up, as he had to tell Bethenny and Luann multiple times to settle down.
Basically, Bethenny called LuAnn the whore of New York, while everyone called Bethenny a slut shamer.
Carole Radziwill – The Amish Lady Cometh
Carole didn’t really have much going on this episode, as she just sat there, and would interject to get Bethenny’s back, while she wore what appeared to be some sort of Amish lady dress made with the materials a steampunk cosplayer would have in their closet.
Still, she wasn’t much more than a Bethenny toadie. I guess she’ll be a little more prevalent in the future.
Jules Wainstein – Why Am I Here Again?
Jules Wainstein was left sitting on the couch, not getting any attention, which had to be completely baffling, as she was wearing her Michael Jackson Halloween costume.
… But Part 2 of The Reunion Will Be Better… Right?
Just as I expected when it was announced that this would be a three part reunion show, I knew that there wouldn’t be enough content to sustain three parts.
So, what can we expect on the other two parts we have left?
Well, basically, you can expect the LuAnn and Bethenny show.
Remember when Lisa Vanderpump threatened to leave The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, because she has an entire part of the three part reunion dedicated to trashing her? And they even brought Brandi Glanville back in an untouchable format to basically talk smack, while Lisa couldn’t say anything back?
Well, that’s exactly what you can expect with this reunion.
Even though we’re already getting some Bethenny and LuAnn drama, I can guarantee you that this is just the tip of the iceberg, and there’s a whole lot more to come.
- Ramona will stare at Andy with those crazy eyes, making his Bethenny boner recede from time-to-time.
- Carole will remove her lips from Bethenny’s ass periodically to take up for her in a completely monotone, emotionless voice.
- Sonja doesn’t exist.
- Dorinda Medley is just happy to be there.
- Jules will break down in tears multiple times, as she talks about her eating disorder, and her pending divorce from Michael Wainstein.
Once again, prepare yourself for the Bethenny and LuAnn show, Bravoholics.